Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Won't You Be My Neighbor,R. Brabham

Man is it me or has life been catapulting crap faster than a mac computer this week? Had me flipping through the channels for some I Love Lucy reruns, Andy Griffith show, something!
I thought I'd see if the good outweighed the bad. Let's give my optimistic half full glass a fair trade shake and see what floats to the top.
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat! Gee Bullwinkle, swell! A beach walk on a warm day, the first butterfly of the season, laughter with a friend, sloppy wet kisses from Snowy, a protective male goose guarding his life mate with eggs to hatch soon, an accomplished writer encouraging new writers, rather than red stamping them with ~unpaid dues~, three pounds of chocolate covered cherries on my hips from Christmas, gone. Mister Rogers video. Mister Rogers??? Really?
It came across as a well tossed cyber nugget beach ball bounced to a

concert of 514.992 viewers. I don't know what made me open it. It was simply titled Fred Rogers Acceptance Speech 1997 on the sidebar of YouTube browser. Listening to his voice, I found solace once again in his soft spoken assurances. Fred Rogers flipped the tables of Emmy acceptance behavior, humbling the entire assembly of posh into a blubbering mascara dripped, shoulder slumped mass of spoiled little children. Reminding in his subtle and truthful way that ~You didn't get here by yourself~ He starts by telling us that we were loved into being. Normally it is at this time that a scribbled long list is retracted from an Emmy winners breast pocket or ladies clutch. Mister Rogers ask the audience to take ten seconds,ten seconds to remember those who have helped you become who you are, cared about you and wanted what was best for you. Mister Rogers reveals his watch and tells us that he will time us. I say us, because alone in front of a blue screen, he has chided me into submission as well. He gently coached us into truth. The three minute list just whittled down considerably didn't it? Who really got you there? No one can hear you, it's just you and your heart answering the question. You're not thanking someone to get kudos points, or so that they won't get offended, or because you may need them later.....
Hmmm, to be totally honest, I had about 6 seconds left. Ok, I tell myself, that's my short list. I felt the need to do a do-over, there were some important people I forgot. Or, did I? And then I follow Mister Rogers instructions once again. I remember those that came to my mind, I give thanks for what they have done silently. They have loved us into being. They nurtured us with their strength and encouragement. Much the same way as Mister Rogers did for over 30 years to his children on TV. Each episode began the same way: Mister Rogers is seen coming home, singing his theme song "Won't You Be My Neighbor?", and changing into sneakers and a zippered cardigan sweater. Each episode included a trip to Rogers' "Neighborhood of Make-Believe" featuring a trolley with its own chiming theme song, a castle, and the kingdom's citizens. Mister Rogers often fed his fish during episodes. They were originally named Fennel and Frieda. Typically, each week's episode explored a major theme, such as going to school for the first time. Originally, most episodes ended with a song entitled "Tomorrow", and Friday episodes looked forward to the week ahead with an adapted version of "It's Such a Good Feeling." In later seasons, all episodes ended with "Feeling."
There were many constants in his show that we came to expect. In a chaotic world, constants provide comfort. So, if it’s I Love Lucy, Reading, Biking, Tom and Jerry cartoons, background white noise of a baseball game playing on TV. In John Lennon’s song lyrics “Whatever gets you through the night is alright, alright.” And sometimes, there is even a hidden nugget in this quiet time. As I discovered with Mr. Rogers speech.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

White Noise Conversations

How's it going? Have a good one. I relate to my pastor who questioned what ~one~ was. Have a good day. Was I able to help you today? Would you like to take a short survey at the end of our conversation? Paper or Plastic? Press 1 to speak to......press 2 to speak to.....

We can stagnate our lives with the monotonous drone of habitual conversation. Nothing brought it home to me more this week than this emphatic statement of a co-worker. I knew nothing of him other than he grumbled each time I asked how he was. This day was different. "How are you?" I ask. He looks at me and sighs heavily, like he is contemplating saying what is on his mind. He opts in. "Please quit asking." he says. I do my shocked face. "Ok" I respond. He moves down the counter to doctor his coffee, I can tell he feels bad about his reply. "I didn't mean to be rude, just don't ask me how I am unless you really want to know." he says stirring his cup. I had to smile. He looks a little rough around the edges this morning and I am completely confident that he would tell me exactly how he ~is today~ if I pursued. "Deal" I promise. He has been to my counter twice since. And because he slammed the door shut on small talk we have been able to engage in real conversation, i.e, where he's from, the 70's, cuban coffee, etc.

I have to say that his honesty may have changed the path of my life somewhat. I have never had a problem engaging in conversation with anyone. But, I realized that I am capable of projecting my lack of interest by using tiresome, babbling greetings. Of course you can't engage everyone, but at least be sincere in what you DO say. It's the actual emphasis of my words/life that will engage my customers, my friends and my family, not the repetition of the words. I had the impression in my mind that I had been nice to this co-worker every morning as I stretched a (sincere?) smile across my face and asked "How are you?" His take? I was redundant and uncaring. And, he had the gumption to tell me so. It stung for a minute or two. Wilhelm Stekel said, “Candor is always a double-edged sword; it may heal or it may separate.” I found it to go beyond that and open awareness as well. From that moment on, I am undeniably aware of someone else being disinterested when having a conversation.

I exchanged my monologue for being present and have seriously enjoyed some interesting conversations. When someone believes you really care, you become more than the spigot for the coffee cup. More than the retractable hand that takes their money. You have the opportunity to add value to a minute of their day and they in turn do the same for you.

I realize how damning ritualistic living can be. If I can't add some value to the moment, the least I can do is not take away from it. I have laughed out loud, fun... raucous laughing and been saddened to the depths of my soul this week. Just by being available.

Dangers of monotonous monologue.

Husband and wife, Been together eons. They know what each is going to say and do before they say or do it. They are driving to grocery store. Pull up to a stop sign, husband doesn't look and relies on wife's answer to pull out. "Anything coming?" he ask. Wife responds. "No one's coming." He pulls out and they go to heaven, just like that. Emphasis on the word ~No~ could have changed the outcome.

Monday, January 30, 2012

A little Asinine

I keep this pic on the wall by my desk. Not the usual inspirational pic, keeps me grounded though. I have named him Alittleassofmine.William Faulkner said

" A mule will labor 10 years,
willingly, patiently, for the
privilege of kicking you once"

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Ginger Pineapple Waldorf Salad

1 Granny Smith apple diced
1 cup cooked chicken diced
1 boiled egg
1/4 cup fresh pineapple
1/4 cup dried cherries
1/4 chopped walnuts
1/2 tbls ground fresh ginger
2 tbls Dukes Mayonnaise
1/4 tsp salt
Combine mayo and ginger in bowl and blend together with fork. Add egg and continue to blend all other ingredients. I opted out of more mayo, add more to your taste

Monday, January 23, 2012

Naturalist, Kind of, Sort of... ~R. Brabham~


Acupressure, hot Showers, tent steam breathing, hot compresses, Ginger Root, Valerian Root, Sarsaparilla, Slippery Elm, Garlic, Pineapple, Echinacea, Ayurvedics, Homemade Chicken Soup, wine, chocolate, 3 boxes of Kleenex.

Dog can't stand to be in room with me. I can't stand to be in room with me. Do they make nose catheters? Broke down and pulled out the OTC's. Theraflu, Benadryl, Aleve. No avail, checking cabinet for my Labrador's antibiotics.

Contagion, probably not the best movie to watch after you have been sick for 5 days. It's 3 a.m. and I am up Googling the Centers For Disease Control, checking US maps for outbreaks of bird, swine or bat viruses. Coughing fit with thermometer stuck in mouth. Is it possible to swallow a thermometer? Can't breathe, pull the wadded Kleenex out of both nostrils. I wonder if they will go back down to normal size.

4 a.m calling my doctor's aftercare line to see when they will open. That small act seemed to make me feel a wee bit better. I will need to re-introduce myself, he won't remember me. I told him when I became his patient that I would be the least seen patient on his roster. That was the last time I saw him. From self-diagnosis, I have determined that I have at least three ~itis's~ Any of which would require a bottle that will send me to bed with a full nights sleep in the future. I am looking forward to Pharmaceutical anything. Warnings and disclaimers welcome.

I console my Naturalist subconscious chastising with assurances that I have rode the train to the end and I must at some point concede to my greater well-being. 2 more hours before the doctor's office opens.

Well..there is one thing I haven't tried.