At Odds With The Animal Kingdom~ Renae Brabham

Although I was only 6 years old, I remember this day vividly. I was enamored by the greenness of the earth, blown away by the expansive terrain and surprised that more existed than what I had seen out of the tall windows of the snowed in Brownstone house we just left in Chicago. We were on a road trip as we moved to the tiny coastal town of Davis near the Outer Banks from Chicago, Illinois. I was fogging the glass of the big Buick tuning out the clamor of my brother and sister beside me. Herman and the Hermits were singing "I'm Henry the Eighth I am" on the radio. I felt so small and insignifigant, yet totally important simultaneously. It was the first time that I knew that I wasn't in charge of a darn thing and the person that was, well he was smiling above those clouds. He knew I was in for one hell of a ride. Somewhere in the foothills of the mountains we stopped at a roadside tourist attraction. Mom put money in a bubble gum type of machine and food poured out into a pan. We slid the pan under the grate of an iron enclosure that led down from the mountain side. Wild black bears sauntered down to eat. One bear sat on his butt and stuck his furry paw through the iron rail, motioning with his hand for me to come back as we left. The only animals I could remember having seen before were monkeys with red behinds and giraffes inside fenced enclosures at the the Chicago zoo. That first summer on the coast across from Ocracoke was an experience to say the least. It was here that I realized for the first time I was at odds with the animal kingdom. The first day we moved into the little white house I was stung by a wasp as I stuck my arm into a heavy laden fig bush. The onslaught of that summer included; Red ants, crabs, flopping fish, Poison Ivy, mosquitoes, lizards and crabs, no see-ums, wish I hadn't seen ums, green flies, ticks.... And there it began. Animals, insects, reptiles, it's not that they dislike me. They want to get closer to me than they do other people. Like real close.

• I've locked eyeballs with a bobcat while picking wild plums on a dirt road in Dorchester, SC
• Had a paralyzing staredown with a huge python in a deserted hurricane demolished lot in Gulfport, Miss. while blackberry picking. He was probably a pet rendered homeless when Hurricane Camille devastated that coast and had lived in the undisturbed undergrowth for the 7 years since.
• Froze in my tracks as a huge buck broke through the woods one day in NC. He rushed by me with a respectful stare that told me "Don't move and you'll be alright." I felt the breeze of his speed on my arms and legs as he flew by.
• Coyotes slinking curiously around the perimeter of my yard questioned my allowance with darting untrusting eyes.
• Oh, there was that alligator that tried to tip my jon boat over in a swampy Dorchester, SC pond while fishing for bream.
• And mercifully, there was that truce with a skunk I surprised while gardening in NC.

I could fill a book with categorical experiences on fishing, snakes, spiders, animals and just weird stuff. All the while, I crave normalcy and peace with the creatures of the world. Then came the day when I crossed over. Over to the dark side. It was bound to happen. Four kids, two boys and two girls. This usually means at some point and time a varmit is going to become a pet. Hence my youngest daughters hamster. She kept him in his cage in the bedroom she shared with her sister. It was around midnight and the household was sound asleep. I was awakened as something large and furry crawled across my neck and wedged next to my ear. I grabbed a fistful of fur and slung it onto the wall screaming. Lights came on throughout the house as four sleepy children and a husband filled the room to watch a hamster take his last breath. Now there were seven rooms in this house and six people to choose from. Really? Why me? No sympathy for mom though, just murderous accusing stares. I apologize and promise to buy my daughter another hamster. We get another and this one is a cyclist. Exercising fool. He spins on that wheel all the time. In a better world, he could have been the lab prototype for the "Spin Craze." It's clicking and squealing wheel became a torture drip to everyone in the house. After a particularly loud evening I lay in bed unable to sleep. I crept down the hall and into my daughters' room and quietly exit out with the cage. I place it in a closet so I wouldn't hear the clanging. The next morning, we get up running. I totally forgot that the hamster was in closet. As I walked into the door from work that evening my daughter wanted to know where her hamster was. I open the closet door to get the cage and froze. The hamster is still and lying on the wheel. Jesus, I killed another one. He apparently didn't know when daylight came and his nocturnal drive had him running all night. Another burial. I am labeled a repeat offender. Please don’t call PETA on me. Lord knows that I don't want to hurt them I would just like to be on RSVP basis with them. I have redeemed myself with varmits. A guinea pig we purchased for our grandbaby lived beyond it's expected years and presumably is in that Hamster exercise ball in the sky.
But, I am reminded once again recently that I will never escape the onslaught of the animal kingdom. The little green lizards. Everyone tells me of their sweet co-existence with these green snakes with legs. They pass each other along life's by-ways and hi-ways. Not here. Case in point. I go to the pool one morning. Lather up, tuck in, pull out and stretch out. I pull out my magazine and a flash of green from afar catches my eye. Across the pool deck at least 30 feet away, a lizard with intent scrambles down a post and hits the deck running. I look around me and there is no one in it's path but me. I pull up and it is still charging. When it is about to reach my chair I swat out with my magazine. Does it run away? No! It scampers stealthily beneath another chair and watches me ease back down into my laid back position. Then what does it do? It charges me again. I jump up and run the dang thing across the deck. It stands firm at the edge of the deck next to the pond, blowing bubbles at me defiantly. I flick it into the water with the magazine. For the next hour I can't think of a thing but that thing swimming up behind me for a flank attack. Yes, as long as I am breathing they are going to find me. June bugs that fly into my shirt at ball games, Bumble Bee's that make me say potty words at church cookouts, Palmetto bugs that decide they best place for them to fly and land is the middle of my forehead. I type this as I am listening to a chorus of frogs outside of my patio. I think they are singing " Why can't we be friends?" I answer, "We can, just send me a friend request"

Just Go With It!

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination ~ Mark Twain


I was thinking..and then I stopped.  And this is more fun! 

Seek goodness everywhere, and when it is found, bring it out of its hiding place and let it be free and unashamed~ William Saroyan

“To begin to think with purpose is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment.” — James Allen

The Clapping Song - Shirley Ellis

369 The Goose Drank Wine

I walk into my workplace to pick up something. I have my sunglasses on. My head throbs from the violence of virus I had picked up. I had been out of work for two days and traveled to work with a Styrofoam bait bucket in car ~just in case~ One of the employees sees me and smirks "Well, there she is Miss Hollywood" I was taken aback. I just kept walking. She walks into the vicinity of the task I needed to perform and stands directly in front of me, never once asking how I felt.
I recalled a few weeks earlier, my daughter had a spinal tap that ruptured, her spinal fluid leaked into her bloodstream and caused headaches so severe that she too wore glasses to work because of the migraine side effects. She saw a few people making fun of her out of these dark glasses. In all reality, she shouldn't have been at work. But didn't want to let the ~Team Down.~ It was her pain and the realization of how she must have felt that filled my eyes with water that morning. I remembered telling my daughters early in life. "When people react this way to you, it is because of their insecurities, don’t let them be yours as well. If you haven't done anything to injure or deserve their actions, don't accept the guilt for it. Move on. Kill them with kindness." I totally understand the blank stare the kids would give me now. It’s kind of like singing the Clap Clap song. 369 the goose drank wine the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line..the line broke.etc… It makes you feel good to sing it, but it doesn’t mean a damn thing. And that’s ok.
Well, I ended up in the ER that same night, then surgery the next morning. I was out of work for 3 days. I go back to work. Again, total snobbery. One person wouldn't even acknowledge a hello. These two individuals were not affected in any way whatsoever with my absence from work and were not even in same department. But we had always talked cordially and had pleasant conversations. I tried to fight a pain that went deeper than where the surgeons knife had been. Amazingly, after all of these years I haven’t built up the first callous of resistance to that pain. Was it pain for myself, humanity? What exactly was I feeling? I just couldn't shake their lack of compassion and humanity. Is it so pervasive? It didn't discount the kindnesses bestowed upon me that week, but somehow I had let these two negative influences choke the crap out of them.
I ride the fence between the A & B as personality type's. But can easily claim the mantra "A glass half full, is full" I was angry at myself for having such a thin shell. Appearances may lead you to think I am a spiny, hard crustacean, but indeed if you poke me you will find a soft shell crab. I questioned God, lord help me he's going to zap me right out of this world one of these days. Once again, his goodness sand mercy reveal to me the compassion love and caring I had been shown for the past week. My hubby who was on vacation that week cared for me. He held wet cold towels to my lips and garbage cans and buckets to my head. I remember my hands being rubbed by kind nurses throughout the night before surgery. A doctor and friend worked me into an already crammed day of surgery and first on the list at that. The privacy curtains in pre-op opened to reveal another dear and kind friend who would be my scrub nurse and then another friendly acquaintance as my anesthesiologist. Did I mention Morphine? Faces of my family as anesthesia wears off. Hugs and love and gifts from old friends dropping in to see me and I was only in hospital 4 hours after surgery. Phone calls, e-mails and faxes and people that came through for me brought tears to my eyes. Customers when back at work that genuinely cared.
I can't say that it doesn't sting when I am in the presence of those that intentionally inflict pain. But, I will say that I feel more empathy for them now. This isn’t a public lash out on them, they don’t even know that I write. I really wasn't too excited about going back to work. I think my daughter sensed my apprehension as I dressed for work that morning. I get a text from her. "Kill them with kindness Mom" she said. I go out humming…3 6 9..the goose drank wine…Clap..Clap..Clap..Clap..
I got a card from the nursing staff at Roper St. Francis Hospital Mt. Pleasant. They all signed the card. I can hardly wait to go see them next week. I thought of each and every person who shows their kindness and compassion to others when I saw this quote.
~To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Does This Moon Make My Butt Look Big? | Charlestongrit.com | Bold. Smart. Local. Now. | Charleston, SC

Does This Moon Make My Butt Look Big? | Charlestongrit.com | Bold. Smart. Local. Now. | Charleston, SC

Does This Moon Make My Butt Look Small? Renae Brabham

I sped over the Isle of Palms connector bridge to the island. I had vowed that even if the moon had risen and peeked over the buildings I wouldn't look until my toes hit the sand. I fed the meter it's dollar and headed down the wooden public access planks at a good clip. My gait ended in a snails pace as a man guided his mother up the small incline. It was an obvious role reversal, contrast of life. She had no doubt held his hands tightly as he took his first steps and crossed roads and now he returned the caring. She minced her steps and he held her arm firmly. I was glad that I was behind them and wouldn't have sped on for the world. I shared in her son's reward when I heard her exclaim as she saw the peregrine moon before I did. "Oh my!" she stopped mid stride. Her son watched her face smiling and then guided her to the side railing. I stepped over to share her view at the exact second that the moon inched into the horizon. And there it was, a thin red line stretching over the horizon. Growing by the second and changing hues from red to yellow. In minutes it was casting a beam of iridescent light over the waves. The extremely high tide had forced everyone to crowd onto the narrow strip of unscathed surf beach. This lent an air of event as we all stood crowded in the narrow swath between the waves washing in and the few feet of embankment. Scores of people still swam in the tide at dusk. The light of the moon called to their carefree spirit, thankfully without a hungry fish feeding. I walked backwards as I was leaving, not able to take my eyes off of the phenomenon. Two granddaughters’ did the same with me last year in March at the super moon. Driving back home over the bridge, I concluded that I am indeed dangerous in situations of extreme beauty. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to watch the sunset out of my front windshield or the moonrise out of the back and contemplated a u-turn at the bottom of the hill to do it all over again. Once home I plug in my camera to download the pics. I was shocked at the tiny white ball that replaced the yellow gargantuan moon hovering over the pier that I left. I can understand that I am light-years away and the image would not show without proper magnification lens. But shouldn't the picture at least portray what my eyes had seen? I began questioning my perception. Which I have been told I should do anyway for years. I scroll through other pics of items in horizon that I had taken recently, they were all in proportion to what I had viewed. So I did the old google search. According to Wikipedia "For over 100 years, research on the Moon Illusion has been conducted by vision scientists who invariably have been psychologists specializing in human perception. After reviewing the many different explanations in their 2002 book The Mystery of the Moon Illusion, Ross and Plug conclude "No single theory has emerged victorious. The Moon illusion is an optical illusion in which the Moon appears larger near the horizon than it does while higher up in the sky. This optical illusion also occurs with the sun and star constellations. It has been known since ancient times, and recorded by numerous different cultures. The explanation of this illusion is still debated." Hmmm...Maybe I need to open the receptors to the illusions of the spiritual world that I live in while here on earth. Those moments when the veil is lifted and I'm left to wonder at the unexplainable. We are not earthly beings living in a material world. We are spiritual beings living in a spiritual world. Eternity is a curtain away, maybe we can slide back the curtains more by allowing ourselves to believe that we don't see everything, we don't know everything and wonder is bliss. In doing so we could possibly unclog receptors that would allow us to participate in more of life's tantalizing experiences. What else am I perceiving to be factual in the universe that may be skewed by my perception. Did the man beside me see the same moon? What if what I see is only what my eyes tell my brain to comprehend? That leaves a whole lot to imagination! Maybe the colors of life would become such prisms of clarity that a rainbow only suggest it's many hues. Maybe I'm thinner than the mirror says. But I'm incredibly comforted by words and phrases like inconclusive, debatable, undetermined. I don't want to know the answers to every little thing about this universe. I will happily transcend from here to there in my chimera's.

Get off of your Jack Arse

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain