My sister and I were having a phone conversation around the first week of December. We talked of our longing to do something for someone in the spirit of giving for Christmas. I prayed for guidance to determine a benefactor for a small contribution to a family in our community. I purchased a Christmas Card, signed it with a blessing of Peace and Joy, placed some cash inside and simply signed it neighbor. I called the HOA office of the community and stated that I thought they may know more of who could use the gift better than anyone else and asked if they would give it to anyone in the community they felt had a need. I never told anyone, except my sister. Matthew 6 vs 3. ~But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth~ Anonymity coupled with forgetfulness. One of my finest traits these days. I did just that. Forgot about it and didn't give it a second thought.
My sister and I talked again and she tells me that she and other employees at her hospital office had be-friended a homeless man. They decided this would be their recipient in the spirit of Christmas giving. They bought a new coat, a book bag, toiletries, blankets, wallet and food coupons..and more. In their excitement they gave it to him a couple of weeks before Christmas. The staff gave him his presents and he was overwhelmed with gratitude and the givers heart's are warmed with the meaning of the verse that opened this story.
January 3rd. I sit in my car and open mail retrieved from mailbox before heading to work. I open an envelope and pull out a folded over envelope. It was the card I gave the office. A simple typed message read ~We were unable to find a person in need in our community, therefore, returning this to you~ I sat dumbfounded. So many things went through my mind. But the one that bothered me the most, was that I thought our Lord had rejected the gift in his honor. I can't reason it out, the ultimate optimist. I can't find a meaning that makes sense. Again, in total anonymity, I keep this to myself. It is about to absorb me though. I sit at the computer and nurse the keys...Could I? Should I ask for help in this? I type a letter to my pastor. I am hating this, because I don't want him to think that I need affirmation. But, still no answer from God and I continue typing. I hear a small click click noise and don't think anything of it. I draw a breath and click send. Window's 7 working signal, hmmmm...wonder what's up? Page comes up that ATT&T Broadband is experiencing technical difficulties. "You may try to re-boot your computer" it says. I absentmindedly do so and didn't save the letter. Frustrated, I decide not to tie myself emotionally to the issue anymore today.
I share the letter and card with Don later in the week. I explain my worst case scenario. God rejected my gift. He shared some wonderful insights with me about my adherence to the total anonymity scripture. Once again back into the swing of a busy week. I put the matter aside once again.
This morning, finally able to catch up a bit, I call my sister. We small talk for a bit and I decide to tell her about the rejected gift. After hearing me out, she tells me that she had dealt with a similar issue this week. She says "You know the homeless man that we gave the coat and gifts too?" "Yes" I reply. "He died" she says. My gut wrenched. She said that unbelievably, here in SC, he died of hypothermia. He told her previously that he tried to make it to the shelter on cold nights before the shut off time. Who is to know if he didn't make it on time? She also had told me that he was articulate and intelligent and spoke often of his blessings, even in his dire circumstances. Somehow the word came back to the office that had befriended him that he had died. Also, that he had a large family that cared for him. He had been a minister, but suffered with breakdowns before he left for the streets. They had tried to retrieve him, but he continued to leave. My sister said she and her co-workers were trying to deal with the loss, with the questions of how their gifts had not sustained his life...etc. She told her co-workers that maybe he hadn't crossed their paths for their help. Maybe God had placed him there to bless THEM.
The reality of the parallel situations didn't hit me until about one hour later. He died the same day my return gift was postmarked. My sister was right in telling them that their gifts weren't rejected. My gift wasn't rejected either. The plans, the outcomes are ALL his, none of them are ours. Sometimes our father just wants to see if we have a willing heart. The big lesson he taught me? He is the King of Anonymity, it is his creation. He has the choice to keep the presents unopened until he reveals them to us, or re-gift them. And I am the happy recipient of the re-gift and apparently, the needy person in my community.
No comments:
Post a Comment