And then...the announcer introduces Jonathan Gilliam, a former Navy seal who had the idea to start a program for vets searching for employment as nannies. Slurping my coffee, still blase'. I am supremely patriotic, but I'm not grasping this. Fog hasn't lifted maybe. Mr Gilliam and the news announcer introduce one of their prime candidates for the nanny vet program, titled Tactical Nannies. I will condense the interview to get to the point of my own story. It started like this; "Ms. Smith, would you tell our audience what qualities you have as a veteran that would entice a family to hire you as their nanny." he asks.
My coffee is getting lukewarm, thinking about getting up and reheating it. The nanny replies, "Well, the training that we have for one thing" and she stops. "And what would that training be Ms Smith? the announcer asks. "Well, we are trained to be aware of our surroundings. We do things like notice things that aren't right, like a tree that wasn't there before." she answers.
Ok..it started with a chuckle and then a giggle and then Don starts and we are cracking up. I am having visions of stalkers with cardboard cut out trees in the parks. The gaff didn't go unnoticed and the news announcer switched over quickly to Mr. Gilliam but didn't ask him to elaborate, he looked grateful.
Don and I are still laughing. "Those damn pop up tree's will get you every time" we say. A few minutes later I have a nano second of guilt. I felt bad for the girl and knew that comment was going to follow her for a bit. But then I peel out in laughter again. We do that sometimes don't we? Laugh at inappropriate things at the expense of another person's flaws or inadequacies. Lord knows I have provided endless material myself.
Another twinge of guilt as I am washing up the dishes. I think back to a few of my Freudian slips.
One of my worst... Don had just received a promotion at work on a Friday, we gathered the kids that evening and went to Red Lobster. We are sucking crab legs and slurping butter when per chance, Don's boss and his wife walk in and are being led to their table near us. They stop and we small talk about the coincidence. His boss tells us that they are celebrating his wife's fiftieth birthday. What I meant to say was "Happy Birthday, You don't look a day of it", what came out was, "Happy Birthday, you look everyday of it." I am still slurping legs and look up quizzically as the entire table and guest are giving me the shocked face. The hostess is leading his boss and wife away and they are telling me what I said. I apologize, but you can tell the damage was done.
Dishes done, coffee finished, time to get this day on the move. Don goes to bed, he is working third shift. I run out to do chores. I notice in the parking lot that I picked up the wrong keys. I decided to take Don's big truck rather than go back in and get my keys.
A little later, I am backing out of this narrow drive, that I shouldn't have pulled into. I am using the mirrors but got too close to shrubs on the left side so as I am correcting that situation, I hear a loud pop. I look over and the right rear view mirror is hanging down. A damn pop up tree ripped it right off!
I stop by Lowes on the way home and get some Gorilla glue. I am in the parking lot piecing the mirror together with a bungee cord while squirting copious amounts of Gorilla glue onto it, all while praying that I can make it look like it never happened. My neighbor noticed my pensive look as I head back inside to get a towel to get the dripping glue off the mirror. "You alright Renae?" he asks. I wave him on..."Nothing serious, just a pop up tree." I answered.
Don wakes up and I tell him "You know that pop up tree we were laughing about this morning? He grins, "Yes" he says.
"Well, one popped up and took your right rear view mirror right off. I say sheepishly. He's not grinning now.
Karma.
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